Posted By Vicki McClure Davidson on April 1, 2009

By Vicki McClure Davidson * Frugal Café Blog Zone

(At this point in time, there is no reason to assume this is a contrived story, but since it is April Fools Day, it could well be. And if it is, and we discover there is no veracity in it, I’ll do something liberal media never does: APOLOGIZE. So there…)

Anchor Katie Couric has some idiotic, juvenile ideas about how successful economic principles work. Not only do her ideas and numbers not add up, but her concept is so flawed, a fourth grader could explain to her where her reasoning goes amuck. No wonder CBS Evening News’ viewership is in the toilet.

In her ongoing slobber-fest over Pres. Barack Obama and defending his socialist agenda, Katie tries to explain (to what few viewers remain for the failing news show) exactly how bigger government and giving out massive bailouts to the tune of trillions of dollars are really GOOD things for America. She and that pitiable Keith Olbermann are becoming liberal media’s official Moronic-Gaffe King and Moronic-Gaffe Queen. Her explanation of Intro to Socialist Math uses the idea of self-propagating jelly beans. Huh?

And Katie had the audacity to attack Sarah Palin’s education and intelligence?

For crying out loud, Katie, Gov. Palin understands the concept of economics without resorting to jelly beans. “You’ve got the money, you can spend it, and you’re in the black. You don’t have the money, you don’t spend it, and you’re still in the black.” Accounting 101, minus the jelly beans. Piece of cake.

Katie, maybe you should investigate how applying this simple math principle has been working for the fiscally stable state of Alaska. Not going bankrupt like the states of California or New York are, Katie. Gov. Palin seems to understand this far better than you do. Saving for a rainy day, not over-indulging, and not taking government hand-outs from avuncular Uncle Sam actually works! Maybe you should have been less vicious to Gov. Palin and *cough* apologize to her for your biased, snotty interview of her last fall. I bet she wouldn’t even laugh at you for your idiotic jelly bean idea, either. She’s just that kind of forgiving, compassionate woman, no matter what an overpaid, math-deficient, socialist harpy does to her on national television.

Here’s what this six-figure news anchor actually said about deficit principles in the economy. Maybe Barney “We Don’t Care about Death Threats” Frank will consider using Katie as the poster child for slicing and capping the obscene, undeserved salaries of Hollywood and its elitist, liberal, ill-informed media:

According to Katie Couric: How Bigger Government Makes Us All Richer

“For many Americans, it can be tough to grasp how all this deficit spending will turbo-charge our economy and end the recession. Tonight, with the help of a few visual aids, we’ll show how everyone gets a macro-cosmic boost whenever Uncle Sam opens his wallet…

Think of each dollar in the economy as a jelly bean. You and I each have a few jelly beans, but the government has a whole lot of them. In a recession — a jelly bean shortage — we might feel like holding on to our jelly beans instead of sharing them, but that would bring our jelly bean party to a grinding halt. But if Uncle Sam re-fills the jelly bean bags of those who are running low, our party can go on and on….And if we ever find ourselves running out of candy, Uncle Sam can always make more — he owns the jelly bean factory! The fun never has to stop….”
– Katie Couric explaining the economics of bailouts, CBS Evening News

We suspect Katie struggled with the concept of “take-away” math when she was a kid in school, and still struggles today: “Bobby has three apples. You take away two of them. How many apples does Bobby now have?” Hmmm. In Normal People World, Bobby has only one apple because you took two of his. If he had three jelly beans and Katie ran up and stole two of them, he’d have only one.

But in Katie’s fantasy, socialist jelly bean/apple world, Bobby probably has eleven jelly beans/apples now, because the benevolent government has LOTS of jelly beans/apples! Lots and lots! And they can always get more apples! We’ll never, ever run out of apples, Bobby, because Uncle Sam can always refill the apple basket! But you can’t be selfish with your apples to make this work, or you’ll wreck our apple party. No matter how many we take away, Bobby, Uncle Sam can give you more. Quick, where is Cookie Monster? We can demonstrate this with apples, or with cookies, or with… JELLY BEANS!” Everybody sing!

I’m especially jaw-droppingly stunned about Katie’s child-like description of “Uncle Sam’s jelly bean bag,” like he’s some kindly gray-haired relative that shows up at the family Christmas Eve festivities, opens a moth-eaten drawstring bag, and passes out a few jelly beans to each of the good boys and girls. Or, better still, kindly Uncle Sam takes out his wallet, riffles through a fat wad of cash, and gives each of the good girls and boys a ten spot. “Thank you, dear Uncle Sam, we love you!” they cry, and wrap their arms around his thin shoulders.

Dear Katie: Uncle Sam isn’t a real guy. He doesn’t own a jelly bean factory. He’s an iconic symbol of the country, and the metaphorical jelly bean bag (or wallet) you describe Uncle Sam is whipping out is filled not with his own jelly beans (or money), because he doesn’t have any of his own, but instead, belongs to American taxpayers in the private sector who’ve paid their taxes.

Katie, I know it’s comforting to think Uncle Sam loves you and wants to simply hand you money or jelly beans whenever you want them, but that naive socialist attitude will put Uncle Sam in debtors’ prison. It isn’t his money nor his jelly beans. He is just a temporary steward of our Constitution who is not suppose to ignore economic principles and recklessly bankrupt a nation of law-abiding taxpayers in his haste to remake America in his own image and destroy the free market and capitalism. It’s a temptation to seek help and money from an all-powerful federal government, but as citizens in a supposedly free society like America, we must reject these tactics, Katie. We can’t be whimpering, fragile little babies who smile stupidly when we get a jelly bean. Although we may achieve success via these means, such success will only be temporary. Now, Katie, here’s an extra-special jelly bean for you because you’re being such a quiet, good little girl and you seem to actually be listening… or maybe you’re just admiring your new black patent leather shoes with the big-girl buckles.

Oh, and did we already tell you that Uncle Sam isn’t a real guy, Katie? 10-4.

Anything else about successful economic principles or the failure of the distribution of wealth concept you need help understanding, Katie, just give Gov. Sarah Palin a call. She’ll help you out, you betcha.

Source of the quoted jelly bean analogy: Media Research Center: April 2009

Another jelly bean post: No Disclaimers: Oh, Now I Get It
Timothy Sexton, Associated Content: Why Katie Couric Should Not Have Been Chosen to Become the New Anchor of CBS Evening News

Other postings about Couric from Michelle Malkin:
What Palin should have said to Couric about the Supreme Court
Not joining the Katie-bashing just yet…plus, a shout-out to the citizen embeds who don’t make the nightly news
Sisterhood of the Protected Female Liberal Journalists

A funny link on Michelle Malkin’s post about petitioners hitting you up for a buck to pay for their commie rags: The road to hell…

Categories: Conservatism, Economy, Government, Media & Communication
Tags: Alaska, Barney Frank, capitalism, CBS Evening News, deficit spending, economic depression, economic free-fall, economics, economy, free market, jelly beans, Katie Couric, math, Obama, Sarah Palin, socialist, Uncle Sam