Frugal Café Blog Zone

Posted By Vicki McClure Davidson on September 26, 2011

Four out of four dogs agree… this comedy collection below of Pres. Barack Obama jokes from late-night talk show monologues over the past few weeks is rip-roaringly funny.

Obviously, they’re not Democrat dogs.

Patriots, if we didn’t laugh, we would surely cry during this era of “hopenchange.”

Tonight Show’s Jay Leno is the hands-down winner for making the most jokes about Pres. Obama and his administration, David Letterman for making the very least — ultra-liberal, carrying-Obama’s-water Letterman reliably managed to mock Bush and Cheney, gone from the White House for more than two years, and Republicans more often this past month than he did the Current Clueless Occupant of the Oval Office. Any blunders, gaffes, missteps, or failures of Obama typically aren’t ever mentioned by Letterman.

Once in a blue moon, maybe.

Time to laugh…

“President Obama’s hometown newspaper, the Chicago Tribune has called on Obama not to run for re-election. He has to run. He knows there are no other jobs out there.” –Jay Leno

“Some critics say Obama should be focusing on jobs instead of addressing the UN. But I think it’s important for Obama to talk to the other countries – because they’re the ones that have all of our jobs.” –Craig Ferguson

“The Solyndra executives are scheduled to testify before Congress, and they’re expected to take the 5th. Why not take the 5th? They’ve already taken $535 million.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama addressed the United Nations General Assembly. He opened up with a joke: ‘The American dollar is strong.’” –Jimmy Kimmel

“During a fundraiser in New York last night, President Obama said he was quote ‘in a New York state of mind.’ Of course, in a year he might be singing that other Billy Joel song, ”Movin’ Out.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“The military’s policy of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is officially over. Don’t confuse this with President Obama’s economic policy, which is ‘don’t ask, I don’t want to talk about it.’” –Jay Leno

“Obama was heckled by someone who said, ‘Don’t forget about medical marijuana.’ The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to everyone in L.A.” –Conan O’Brien

“Obama says his new plan to raise taxes on millionaires is not class warfare, it’s math. We Americans hate class warfare, but we also hate math.” –Jay Leno

“If I was president, I’d freeze everyone in carbonite until the job market improves. It worked for Han Solo.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama says his new jobs bill will create over 1.9 million jobs — and up to 50 of them will be right here in America.” –Jay Leno

“Someone smashed the windows in President Obama’s L.A. campaign office. And today, Joe Biden said it was likely the work of vandals, and definitely not someone who forgot their key and had to go to the bathroom.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Obama said Americans feel things aren’t fair, that the deck is stacked against them, and that nobody is paying attention. That’s an inspiring campaign speech.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama’s re-election campaign is doing a contest where contributors can win a chance to have dinner with the president. Or, if you come in 2nd place, a mid-afternoon Hot Pocket with Joe Biden.” –Conan O’Brien

“President Obama’s campaign just launched a new program geared toward seniors called ‘Operation Vote.’ Great, just what old people need – another operation.” –Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama was in San Diego and traffic was a huge mess. There was even a three-hour backup tunneling in from Mexico.” –Jay Leno

“Did you know the White House makes its own beer? President Obama bought the equipment with his own money and he brews his own beer in the White House. That might explain some of these recent economic policies.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama is determined to help the unemployed because it’s looking increasingly likely that in a year, he’ll be one of them.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Congress is investigating why the Obama administration invested over $500 million in a solar panel company called Solyndra, which filed for bankruptcy. Only the White House could pick a solar panel company that goes broke in California in the summer.” –Jay Leno

“The Democrats lost a seat they’ve held in New York since the 1920s. The White House said, ‘At least President Obama created one new job.’” –Jay Leno

“The White House is planning an official state trip to Australia this November. Which explains why Biden spent all day looking for an Australian translator.” –Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama described himself as an eternal optimist. He then explained that he’s the kind of person that sees the country as ‘half employed.’” –Conan O’Brien

“Obama says the jobs bill will be paid for. I don’t like this focus on paying for things. That’s what future generations are for.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“In his speech, President Obama introduced a $400 billion plan called the ‘American Jobs Act.’ They would have had a more creative name, but the guy that comes up with names got laid off six months ago.” –Jimmy Fallon

“The virus in the movie ‘Contagion’ is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I’m talking about President Obama.” –Craig Ferguson

“Cuban leader Fidel Castro made a rare TV appearance yesterday. He said everyone keeps reporting that he’s dead, but he’s actually alive and well. He said he went on TV, basically to prove he’s still alive. It’s pretty much the same reason President Obama was on TV last night. ‘I’m still here! I’ve got your jobs!’” –Jay Leno

“Tonight was President Obama’s jobs speech and the NFL season opener. Which explains why Biden got confused and dumped Gatorade on President Obama.” –Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama’s jobs speech was tonight: A guy whose job nobody approves of giving a speech about jobs that don’t exist to people who don’t have any jobs.” –Jay Leno

“A man wearing an Obama mask robbed a bank. Either that or Obama has an exciting new plan to reduce the deficit.” –Conan O’Brien

“President Obama plans to create thousands of new jobs by replacing all automobile GPS systems with real people who sit in the back seat with a map.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“The speech will be translated into Spanish and Chinese so that the people who have our jobs can understand.” –Jay Leno

“The president said we need more products stamped ‘Made in America.’ OK, let’s get the Chinese to get a stamp that says ‘Made in America.’” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Republicans actually decided not to give a rebuttal to President Obama’s jobs speech tonight. I guess they figured there’s already a rebuttal to his jobs speech: No jobs.” –Jimmy Fallon

“According to the latest poll, a record 73 percent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news: Gas is so expensive that we’ll never get there.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama’s approval rating is very low. But then again, his disapproval rating is very high, so there’s a silver lining.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Today President Obama is visiting the hometown of House Speaker John Boehner. Obama plans to give a speech and then visit the tanning bed that Boehner grew up in.” –Conan O’Brien

“New statistics show the U.S. economy added 0 jobs in August. The White House cautioned Americans not to read too much into those numbers. What numbers?” –Jay Leno

I read that a man from Illinois discovered $150,000 in his garden. Did you hear that, President Obama? A man from Illinois actually grew the economy.” –Jimmy Fallon

“After pressure from Republicans, President Obama moved his big jobs speech from Wednesday to Thursday night. Obama gave in when he realized something important: He could just TiVo ‘Jersey Shore.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“Obama caved again when ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ called and said, ‘Our show is on at that time.’” –Jay Leno

“The White House agreed to move President Obama’s speech from Wednesday to Thursday because the Republicans have a debate scheduled for Wednesday. So the debate that no one is going to watch holds more weight than the speech no one is going to believe.” –Jay Leno

“In a new interview, President Obama said Ben Franklin is the Founding Father he would most like to meet. Meanwhile, Joe Biden said that Panthro is the ThunderCat he would most like to meet.” –Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama claims his new jobs bill will be better than his old jobs bill, which only created one job that went to a guy named Bill.” –Jay Leno

“Yesterday President Obama arrived 25 minutes late for a luncheon at the U.N. In fact he was so late, he had to sit next to Biden at the kids table.” –Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama’s uncle was arrested for a DUI. His alcohol level was actually higher than Obama’s approval rating.” –David Letterman

For more conservative jokes, here’s my late-night TV joke round-up from last month.

Funniest POTUS photo from last week…

Close-up of UN photo with Barack Obama waving and blocking man's face last week... the man is the president of Mongolia

Categories: Entertainment, Celebrities, Funny Stuff - Free Laughs, Government, Media & Communication, Social and Political Climate
Tags: America, Barack Obama, Barack Obama uncle, Barack Obama's uncle, bus, bus tour, China, clean jokes, comedian, comedy, Conan O'Brien, conservative humor, Craig Ferguson, David Letterman, debt, Democrat jokes, Democrats, dog, dogs, economic crisis, economic recession, failure, federal government, financial disaster, financial hardship, financial recession, humor, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, jobs, jobs lost, jobs unemployment, Joe Biden, joke, jokes, late-night jokes, late-night talk show, late-night talk shows, late-night TV, laughing, laughing dogs, liberal, liberal jokes, liberalism, Obama jokes, Obama speech, Obama's uncle, political comedy, political humor, political joke, political jokes, POTUS, Pres. Obama, Pres. Obama speech, president jokes, recession, Republicans, speech, talk show, television, TV, uncle, Uncle Omar, unemployment, White House